Circles of Blessing
Here are some of the ceremonies Ishara has co-created.
(If you would like me to publish your feedback and/or photos, please get in
touch with me!)
Name-Giving & Blessing Ceremony at Blackwall Reach Lookout, Bicton - November 2009
Name-Giving & Blessing Ceremony for Morgan Oswald Wray.
held at 11am on Friday 13th November 2009
on the lookout platform overlooking Blackwall Reach on the
Swan River
"Thank you so much for helping us to celebrate the birth of our son Morgan. His Blessing and Name giving ceremony was very special. It was such a memorable day for everyone." Sasha & Jonathon, 25th November 2009
Order of Ceremony
Ishara: A ceremony works by creating a special time and space set apart from the ordinary doings of daily life. And so I would like to begin today’s proceedings by inviting us all to take some slow deep breaths, and allow ourselves to become fully present in this time and place. I invite you to consciously take this opportunity to open your senses to the beauty of the surroundings, to these special people and all the love that is gathered here today.
Sasha and Jonathan believe in the Divinity of Nature and also draw on Christian and Buddhist beliefs. And so, for today’s ceremony they have chosen with the help of Morgan’s grandparents to start by invoking blessings from the deities they believe in, the four directions and elements of our world.
Jonathan, if you would like to begin?
Jonathan: I am Morgan’s father and I call in the Blessings of Holy Father, Jesus Christ, Lord
Buddha and of the Sun
Sasha: I am Morgan’s mother and I call in the Blessings of Mother Mary, Lord Kwan Yin, the Healing
Angels and of the Moon.
Chris: I am Morgan’s Grandpa and I call in the blessings of the North and Fire - the warmth of passion, the spirit of adventure and courageous hearts.
Jennifer: I am Morgan’s Granny and I call in the blessings of the East and Air – the breath of life, fresh beginnings and clear minds.
Paquita: I am Morgan’s Oma and I call in the blessings of the South and Earth - good food and companions to share it with, a peaceful home, a quiet spirit.
Victor: I am Morgan’s Pop and I call in the blessings of the West and Water - the call of the sea, deep feeling, the power of dreams.
Sasha and Jonathon tell about the significance of the names they‘ve chosen for Morgan. The names are then formally bestowed.
After an introduction by Ishara, the bowl of blesing water is passed around the circle so all can add their blessings. Water is sprinkled on
Morgan’s head by his parents wth some words of blessing.
Sasha and Jonathon tell why they chose these two as godparents. The godparents are formally asked to accept this role.
Ishara: In Druidry, there is a belief that an individual human life involves the intersection of five different spirits or streams of energy.:- the Spirit of the Ancestors, the Spirit of the Tribe, the Spirit of the Times, the Spirit of the Place and the Spirit of the Journey. Today we will honor each of these and ask for their blessings on the life of this beloved child.
The Spirit of the Times
“Morgan, I bring you the blessings of the Spirit of the Times. These are times of sweeping global change, of inventiveness and adaptability, of a return to awareness of the importance of spirit and the unseen dimensions of life… May the gifts of resilience and compassion be yours.”
The Spirit of the Ancestors
“Morgan, I bring you the blessings of the Spirit of the Ancestors. May the gifts of courage and wisdom be yours. Never forget that within your veins runs the blood of scientists and explorers, of homemakers, farmers, healers, artists and more”
The Spirit of the Tribe
“Morgan, I bring you the blessings of the Spirit of the Tribe. We welcome you into our family, into this your circle of community, and into the larger family of humankind… May the gifts of love and companionship be yours.”
The Spirit of the Place
“Morgan, I bring you the blessings of the Spirit of this Place. May you always feel at home in this, the country your spirit was born into, under the shade of the marri trees by the banks of the Swan River. May you learn to live in this land with respect for its ways and its people’s.”
The Spirit of the Journey
“Morgan, I bring you the blessings of the Spirit of the Journey. May the grand adventure of your lifetime unfold for you just as it needs to, bringing you those challenges and gifts that will enable you to grow and blossom in ways that are personally fulfilling and make a positive difference to the world around you”
After a final reading, the ceremony closed with a toast to Morgan's health and long-life, and everyone shared a wee drop of Captain Morgan's rum! Morgan's parents then poured out the remaining blessed water over the cliff into the river below as a thanksoffering for the gift of Morgan’s life.
Private Betrothal Ceremony for a Couple Planning to Marry. November 2009
Betrothal Ceremony for Monica & Jack
in the park off Portsea Rise in Mosman Park, Western Australia
at 10am on Sunday 22nd November 2009.
I very much enjoyed creating and performing this special ceremony for a quietly reserved couple who wished for an opportunity to celebrate their love very privately ahead of a big family wedding the following year. This ceremony was to just for the two of them, no witnesses other than myself.
Ishara
"Ishara was lovely and very willing to work with us to design a unique ceremony to celebrate our relationship. Very easy to get along with!"
Ishara: Monica and Jack, I understand that it is your desire and firm intention to get married, and that you plan to solemnise your marriage at a wedding ceremony that you will celebrate with your family and friends next year. I further understand that is your mutual desire to have this opportunity to privately pledge your commitment to one another, as a further step in deepening your relationship and in anticipation of your wedding next year.
Monica and Jack, in other times and places it has been the custom for a couple who planned to marry to enter a formal betrothal. As it is commonly understood, a betrothal is a mutual promise, engagement or contract for future marriage.
The word betrothal has evolved from the archaic word ‘troth’ meaning plighted word, good faith, loyalty, truth. It is in this spirit of truth and loyalty that I invite you to approach today’s ceremony.
I feel it is my duty to remind you that the pledges that you each make to the other in good faith today can be expected to become the heart of your marriage relationship contract. They will give voice to your aspirations, and become the touchstone of your shared love and commitment for many years into the future.
Jack and Monica, marriage is a serious commitment that can be entered into only by persons who are both legally and spiritually free to offer themselves to one another. And so before we proceed I must now ask you..
Monica, do you come here of your own free will, with a conscious desire to pledge yourself to marry Jack?
Monica: I do.
Ishara: Jack, do you come here freely, with a conscious desire to pledge yourself to marry Monica?
Jack: I do.
3. On the way to the wedding – Circling the bower
Ishara: Monica and Jack, you have chosen to make your promises to one another under this leafy arbour.
An arbour is a traditional place for lover’s trysts. It is also reminiscent of the wedding canopy that a jewish couple stand under, representing the new home that they will create together. This "home" initially lacks furniture as a reminder that the basis of a home is the people within it, not the possessions
For the purposes of today’s ceremony, this arbour we are standing in front of becomes a living symbol of the marriage relationship that you will create together. Looking at the arbour, you can see that it has a strong framework that holds it up and holds it together. This is like the conscious commitments that you will be making today and reaffirming on your wedding day – your mutual commitment to cultivating trust, respect, honesty, thoughtfulness and compassion in all your dealings with each other. Looking at the arbour you can also see that it is the green growing things that give it its unique beauty – these are like the love that grows and flowers between you, the deepening appreciation and respect for each other’s unique humanness that can continue to develop and blossom over the course of a lifetime.
Soon
it will be time for you to enter into the bower and make your promises
together, but before that can happen, there are some preparatory steps that I
will ask you to take.
In this next part of the ceremony I will invite you to take turns to walk around the outside of the wedding bower, symbolising the journey of your lives to this point. One of you will start, while the other stands waiting here with me, in front of the arbour. Then you will swap places.
The one who is walking – imagine that you are making a pilgrimage to join your beloved. If you wish, you may retrace in your mind some of the steps on the journey of your life to this point - this threshold at which your beloved stands waiting for you.
The one who is waiting – imagine that you are waiting for your beloved who has been away on a long journey. Breathe into your heart and allow yourself to feel all the yearning that is in your heart for an intimate and abiding relationship with this special person who is your beloved.
Who would like to go first?
Monica & Jack take turns at walking and waiting for each other (circle once each). When they have both completed their circling, Ishara continues:
Ishara: Now that both of you have found your beloved, there is another step that we need to take, to prepare the way for your union.
At times such as this, whenever a significant spiritual passage in life is made, the wisdom traditions of the world recommend a ritual cleansing or purification to make ready for a new beginning.
Water is a very precious element, essential to the sustenance of all life. Since antiquity, water has been a symbol of purity and devotion. As the water flows over your hands today, it symbolises the washing away of anything in your individual or shared pasts, which might stand in the way of the deeper union which you desire.
Jack, as I pour the water over your hands, I invite you to imagine that it is dissolving away any old thoughts and feelings, anything you may have said or done in the past which you do not want to carry forward into your marriage. Feel yourself becoming lighter, more open and receptive to love and life, ready and willing to take the next step.
Ishara pours water from a jug over Jack’s hands.
Monica, as you dry your beloved’s hands, I invite you to let it become an expression of the tenderness that you feel for him today as well as the promise of tenderness shared through all your tomorrows.
Monica dries Jack’s hands with a small towel..
Monica, as I pour the water over your hands, I invite you to imagine that it is dissolving away any old thoughts and feelings, anything you may have said or done in the past which you do not want to carry forward into your marriage. Feel yourself becoming lighter, more open and receptive to love and life, ready and willing to take the next step.
Ishara pours water from a jug over Monica’s hands.
Jack, as you dry your beloved’s hands, I invite you to let it become an expression of the tenderness that you feel for her today as well as the promise of tenderness shared through all your tomorrows.
Monica dries Jack’s hands with a small towel..
Ishara: Monica & Jack, I now invite you to step into the wedding bower where you will make your pledges to one another.
Monica & Jack step under the arbour.
Ishara: Jack, will you now promise to take Monica to be your wife?
Jack: I will.
Ishara: Jack, I believe you wish to make a personal commitment to Monica at this time?
Jack: Yes I do.
Ishara: Then I invite you to take her by the hands and look into her eyes as you repeat after me…
Jack: Monica, all that I am and all
that I have,
I offer to you in love and in joy.
I will trust you and respect you,
laugh with you and cry with you,
loving you faithfully
in good times and in bad,
regardless of the obstacles we may face together.
Everything I am, and everything I have is yours,
from this moment forth, and for eternity.
Ishara: Jack, I believe you have a small keepsake to give Monica as a memento of this day?
Jack gives Monica a gift
Ishara: And now Monica, it is your turn. Will you now promise to take Jack to be your husband?
Monica: I will.
Ishara: Monica, I believe you also wish to make a personal commitment to Jack at this time?
Monica: Yes I do.
Ishara: Then I invite you to look into his eyes as you repeat after me…
Monica: Jack, all that I am and all that I
have,
I offer to you in love and in joy.
I will trust you and respect you,
laugh with you and cry with you,
loving you faithfully
in good times and in bad,
regardless of the obstacles we may face together.
Everything I am, and everything I have is yours,
from this moment forth, and for eternity.
Ishara: Monica, I believe you have a small keepsake to give Jack as a memento of this day?
Monica gives Jack a gift
Ishara: Monica & Jack may your love always be as constant as the never-ending waves, flowing endlessly from the depths of the sea. Just as the waters touch and nourish the many shores of the earth, may your love be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Just as there will never be a morning without the ocean’s flow, there will never be a day without your love for each other.
This beautiful union is symbolized through the combining of these two individual vessels of sand. The first jar represents you Monica, in all that you are, and the other vessel represents you, Jack, in all that you are.
Each one holds its own unique beauty, strength, and character. They can stand on their own and be whole, without need of anything else. However when these two are blended together they create an entirely new and extraordinarily more intricate entity. Each grain of sand brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination.
As you now pour the sand into this common vessel, it symbolises the union of your two lives.
Monica & Jack pour their sand into the vessel they have chosen for this purpose.
When complete, Ishara continues..
Ishara: Monica & Jack, just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual vessels - so will your marriage be a moulding of two individual personalities, bonded together forming one heart, one love. The life that each of you experienced up to now, individually, will hereafter be inseparably united, for the two shall become one.
I now invite you to seal your commitment in the traditional way with a kiss.
Monica & Jack kiss
Ishara: Monica and Jack, your betrothal represents a commitment to deepening the intimacy between you and to working together to build a clear vision of the marriage relationship that you seek to co-create. I would invite you to use the time between now and your marriage ceremony to cultivate a lively curiosity that will lead you to continue to learn more about each other and deepen the mutual appreciation and respect which is already present between you.
Ishara: Monica and Jack, as you are now united in your hearts and minds, I will invite you to take a third turn around the bower, this time arm in arm, representing the journey that you take together from this point onwards.
Monica and Jack circle the bower a third and final time.
Monica & Jack, I now ask you to seal this commitment by joining hands and repeating these words:
“We swear, by peace and love to stand
Heart to heart and hand in hand
Mark O Spirit, and hear us now
confirming this our Sacred Vow”
Monica and Jack repeat the vow together (once)
End of Ceremony.
Kristy & Bobbies Union Ceremony
Kristy & Bobbie’s Union Ceremony
to be held at 4:30pm on Saturday 30th January 2010
under the gazebos at Merv Cowan Park in East Fremantle
"Today we gather to celebrate the union of Kristy Lynn Groves and Bobbie Lara Janssen. My name is Catherine Ishara de Garis - Ishara for short - and it is my pleasure and privilege to have been invited to be the celebrant for today’s ceremony. What a joy it is to see so many smiling faces gathered around and feel the love and good wishes that you bring to what is probably the biggest day of Kristy and Bobbie’s shared lives.. their wedding day.
Ishara: And now, if you will please stand for the arrival of the brides! Can we please have the music?
Music – “Today” by Joshua Radin
Kristy arrives.. escorted by her son Jesse
Soon to be followed by Bobbie on the arm of her father Tim
Ishara sets the scene for the ceremony
"Love knows no
boundaries of race, class, age or gender. The yearning to consecrate true love
in a ceremonial way is so deep and so natural, that no amount of societal
disapproval can hold back the tide. This is why
Kristy and Bobbie have asked you to gather here on this their wedding day. Each
of you has been invited here to support them with your presence as they take
this big step together. Although under
Australian law same-sex couples do not currently have the right to legally
register a marriage, Kristy and Bobbie want you to know that they consider the commitments that you are
about to witness to be every bit as permanent and binding. You are the loving circle of family and
friends whom they have invited to bear witness as they each make a solemn
commitment to love, honour and cherish the other for as long as they both shall
live."
4. Giving Away
"Who brings these women to be joined together today?"
"We do!"
The wedding rings are secured together with a ribbon or in a small bag and passed to each guest in turn. The guest with the rings gets the opportunity to offer a prayer, blessing or wish for the wedding couple, either silently or aloud. In this manner the rings are "warmed" with good thoughts before being returned to the officiant and either blessed or simply handed to the couple to exchange with each other.
"From today forward, your lives and fates will be joined in ways you have only barely begun to glimpse. At times such as this, whenever a significant spiritual passage in life is made, the wisdom traditions of the world recommend a ritual cleansing or purification to make ready for a new beginning..."
"Today’s ceremony is intended to join you in a union that is both intimate and enduring. The promises you make here today will set the seal on the bonds of love that have grown up between you since first you came into each others lives. The choice that both of you have made - to stand here today and publicly make these promises to each other - holds the potential deepen your relationship in ways that are both subtle and profound. This is not a step to be taken lightly. And so it behoves me to ask you… Do you, knowing this woman’s love for you and returning it, realising her strengths and learning from them, recognising her weaknesses and helping her to overcome them, choose her to be your wife?"
Ishara announces the Union and invites Bobbie & Kristy to seal their union with the traditional kiss
May the sun shine on all your days.
May the moon bless all your nights.
May you always remember to say something kind,
And forgive each other when you fight.
May the dark be warm and welcoming
and always give way to the light!
13. Becoming a family - Sand Pouring Ceremony with the children
Ishara: Kristy, Bobbie, Erin and Jesse..
May your
joys be as bright as the morning,
your years of happiness as numerous as the stars in the heavens,
and your troubles but shadows that fade in the sunlight of love.
May your home be filled with laughter and the warm embrace of a summer day.
May you find
peacefulness and beauty,
challenge and satisfaction, humor and insight,
healing and renewal, love and wisdom, as in a quiet heart.
May you
always feel that what you have is enough.
Rachael & Anthony's Wedding - October 2009, Yanchep National Park, Western Australia
"Family and friends, welcome! Please gather around. The ceremony is about to begin. If you have a mobile phone or pager with you, this would be a good time to turn it to silent… If we could please make sure that those who need a seat have one? And those who are standing, please gather in close so that you can all hear..."
Rachael & Anthony chose a spring wedding in the open air in the beautiful surrounds of Yanchep National Park. Perth weather in spring is changeable, and although the wedding rehearsal earlier in the week had been a perfect sunny day, the day of the wedding itself was cloudy with passing showers. So instead of performing the ceremony by the lake-side, we ended up moving the chairs under the verandah of the old homestead, now a visitors centre.. The effect was a little like being in a chapel, and guests afterwards commented on the intimate feel which being contained in that smaller space had created.
Rachael chose "Desiderata" by Max Ehrmann, a long-time favorite of hers, to open the ceremony. After the exchange of vows and the ring ceremony, Rachael and Anthony chose to incorporate the lighting of unity candle to commemorate their union in marriage. A special highlight was when Rachaels rather shy sister Madonna bravely took up her guitar and sang a rendition of "Into My Arms" b Nick Cave as a special wedding gift to her sister and new brother-in-law. To conclude the ceremony, each guest was given a small rose quartz 'wishing stone' to charge with their love and good wishes for the newly married couple, and these were then collected up and presented to Rachael & Anthony as a keepsake reminder of all the love and support that surrounds them as they embark on the adventure of married life together.
In keeping with the pastoral feel of the setting, the final words of blessing were inspired by the four elements - earth, air, water and fire:
May the foundations of the loving marriage that you have laid through your actions here prove solid and enduring as the earth beneath your feet this day. And may these small pebbles remind you of the support of family and friends that is always there for you.
May the breath of life breath through your marriage, like the air on this spring day in the park, keeping it fresh and playful, and may the song of your love for each other keep singing in your hearts for as long as you both shall live
May the overflowing feelings that are in your hearts this day become a flowing fountain of love, like a rich sweet wine, running through all your days, teaching you to bend and shift with the challenges of life and never losing the taste of essence that binds you together this day.
May the flame of passion burn strong and steady in your marriage, like the unity candle that you have lit together this day, enlightening and enlivening your shared life with creative energy and the warmth of enduring love.
‘Many waters cannot quench love; flooding rivers cannot sweep it away.’
What love has brought together let no turn of time or fortune break asunder!
"Everybody commented on how lovely the ceremony was and many people actually told me it was the best wedding they had been to.
So, thank you for the lovely, if, improvised ceremony. I think you did a marvellous job and I wish you all the best of luck in your future ceremonies."
Our kindest regards,
Rachael and Anthony22/11/2009
Chris and Yvonne's Wedding - September 2009, Mulberry on Swan, Western Australia
"One of the wonderful things about weddings is the way that they connect us into timeless human traditions – Yvonne and Chris are following in the footsteps of countless generations of men and women all over the world who have chosen to formally enter into the covenant of marriage according to the traditions of their own peoples and places. Yvonne’s cultural heritage is Singaporean Chinese, and you will see this reflected in the decorations that she and Chris have chosen for the reception. Today Chris has chosen to honour his Scottish ancestry, by wearing his grandfather’s kilt, and also in the choice of music to accompany the ceremony.."
"Family and friends, will you now please stand for the arrival of the bride – who will make her entrance on the red carpet to the accompaniment of the bagpipes."
Piper plays as Yvonne makes a ceremonial entrance on the arm of her eldest daughter, followed by the rest of the children...
The bride looked gorgeous in a traditional chinese red silk dress as she came forward to stand beside her groom, bringing with her a family of five children and one grandson.. When it came time for the giving away, the bride's eldest daughter spoke for them all as she affirmed her love and support for their mother and the man who had come to occupy a special place in all of their lives.
In this wedding ceremony, the bride and groom each selected a poem to read to the other as prelude to the exchange of vows, and formation of a new united family was symbolised through the Unity Sand-pouring ceremony in which all eight members of the new family plus the best man participated. The nine different colours of sand looked beautiful in the glass vase that the bride and groom had chosen for the occasion.
Blessing Circle for Coralie - July 2009
Coralie was in the final weeks of her first pregnancy when her friend Rebecca approached me about holding a Pregnant Mama Blessing Circle for her. Coralie was also intending to have a baby shower which would be a larger social affair, and the idea of the Blessing Circle event was that it would be a more intimate circle of women friends, including her own mother. The Blessing Circle was held in one of Coralie's friends' houses, and all the women who came contributed to the cost of the evening.
"Hi Ishara, The Mumma Blessing was a fabulous way for women to show on
an emotional level how much they care and to display enthusiasm for
such a special event. It was fun to participate in and enjoyed by all,
especially the Mumma to Be. Women were all impressed by your open
manner and accepting insights to both birthing and motherhood and how
there is not just one way to do things - greatly appreciated!! Lots of
love to you and thanks for a fun night!"
Rebecca
Ceremony Outline
Welcoming
Rebecca welcomes everyone and introduces Ishara
Ishara says a few
words about herself, the intention of the ceremony and what to expect.
Posted by: ishara on the 31/07/2009 19:58
| Categories:
Wedding,
Vanessa and Mike’s Wedding - July 2009, Harold Boas Gardens, West Perth, Western Australia
Although I wouldn't especially recommend an outdoor venue for a July wedding in Perth, Vanessa and Mike were very clear that if necessary, they would have their wedding ceremony under a large umbrella... And as luck would have it, the weather smiled upon their wedding day. :-)
The dark clouds cleared mid-morning and by the time everyone gathered in the park at Harold Boas Gardens, you couldn't have wished for a sunnier winter day to get married on..
"Ishara was extremely welcoming, friendly, helpful and professional.."
"Our wedding was great. We had friends helping with ceremony and Ishara spoke to them all and prompted them when it was their turn to speak everything went very smoothly. It was a very simple low key ceremony, just the way we wanted it."
"We didn't know much about wedding ceremonies. Ishara showed us basic templates and different ideas. She made it very easy for us to make our wedding unique and personal."
"We both really enjoyed our wedding it was just how we wanted it. Lots of our guests have said what a lovely ceremony it was and some commented it was the best wedding they had been to. I wholeheartedly recommend Circles of Blessing. Thanks Ishara. We had a great day."
Mike and Vanessa
This lovely couple confided in me that they were very happy to have found me as they really wanted a marriage celebrant who would fit comfortably with their leftie political leanings. They told me that they had been at a friends wedding not long before where the celebrant had been asked to inform the guests that the bride and groom looked forward to a day when marriage would be legally available to all adult couples in Australia, not only the hetrosexual ones, and that they would like something similar said in their own marriage ceremony.
MARRIAGE CEREMONY OUTLINE
The Welcome
Ishara: Please gather around, the ceremony is about to begin. But first, some music to set the scene…
Music Etta James. At last. Plays then fades out (Ben will cue the music)
Ishara: Welcome, family and friends, to this auspicious occasion! My name is Catherine Ishara de Garis - Ishara for short - and it is my pleasure and privilege to be the celebrant for today’s marriage ceremony.
This is a very special day for Mike and Vanessa. It represents a deepening of the relationship that has grown between them since first they met – in the Funk Club at the Rosemount Hotel almost one year ago.
From the beginning of time, human beings have come together in circles of community to celebrate significant moments in our individual and shared lives. A ceremony, like this one, is a special kind of celebration. It offers us an invitation to pause and reflect upon the things which make life meaningful – our values, our hopes and dreams for ourselves and the ones we love. Today’s ceremony is intended to join Vanessa and Mike in the intimate union of marriage: to affirm the bond of love that has grown between them and seal the public commitment that they will be making to each other today.
Today you will hear Vanessa and Mike make promises to love and care for each other as husband and wife. You will witness these promises sealed by the exchanging of rings, the signing of the certificates and by their first married kiss. At the conclusion of today’s ceremony Vanessa and Mike are inviting you to share a toast with them here and then to all join them at The Brisbane for a celebration.
Honouring the Land
Ishara: Here we are, in Harold Boas Gardens, on a fine Saturday in July. Take in the people, the grass, the trees… Mike and Vanessa would like to begin today’s ceremony by acknowledging the traditional owners of the land and the significance of preserving this unique environment that we live in.
Remembrance of Absent Family & Friends
Ishara: A wedding is very much about family. Sadly, there are some special members of Vanessa and Mike’s family who cannot be with us today. In particular:-
A Short Address by Vanessa's friend Tennille (composed by her for the occasion):
The Meaning of Marriage
Reading: “Marriage is…” by Barbara Cage – read by Michelle
Ishara: As a civil celebrant, I am duly authorised to solemnise marriages according to law.
Vanessa and Mike, before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter. Marriage according to the law in Australia is the union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others voluntarily entered into for life.
This is the strictly legal definition of marriage. However marriage is the commitment of two adults to love each other enough to publicly commit themselves, in front of the people who matter most in their lives. In the face of an unseen and uncertain future marriage is and has always been, a very brave and bold act. The choice that both of you have made - to stand here today and publicly make these promises to each other - holds the potential deepen your relationship in ways that are both subtle and profound. It gives a new status to your relationship in the eyes of the community and the law. I know that this is a privilege and right that the two of you would like to see extended to all Australian couples who desire it, regardless of gender and sexual preference.
Yet powerful as this act is, we all know that getting married is not enough to guarantee a long and happy future for your relationship. In many ways, the act of getting married is more than anything an acknowledgement that your individual lives have become so intertwined that henceforth whatever choices you may make as individuals – the small daily choices as well as the more obvious life-changing decisions – will inevitably impact on your partner, for better or worse. And so the challenge is to continue to make careful and loving decisions in the way you live your life together, day by day, month by month, year by year, for the rest of your lives.
Consent
Ishara: The covenant of marriage is one that can be entered into only by persons who are both legally and spiritually free to offer themselves to one another. Mike, do you come of your free will and with a conscious desire to be united in marriage with Vanessa?”
Mike: I do.
Ishara: Vanessa, do you come of your free will and with a conscious desire to be united in marriage with Mike?
Vanessa: I do.
Ishara: Then I ask you now to turn and face each other and take hands…
A Reading
Blessing of the hands (revised by Rev. Daniel L. Harris) read by Bonnie Campbell:
The Promises
Ishara: Mike, I believe you have some important things you want to say to Vanessa… (I will prompt you as needed)
Mike: Vanessa I love you so much. I am so happy that you came into my life.
I’ll be there to share your smiles and laughter and to comfort and catch you when you fall.
You’re my best friend and I promise you my love for all of my life.
Ishara: And now it is your turn Vanessa…
Vanessa: Mike I’m so glad that I met you that night at the Funk Club, it was so much fun riding the bikes around Northbridge together. Since getting to know you better I realised that you weren’t just the funniest person I’d met, but that you’re also incredibly caring and generous. These were just a few of things which made me fall in love with you. Of course there was also your music taste. Mike, I promise to always try to be a better person so that we can grow and become even better together. I promise to be honest and to trust you, and I promise to always love you and care for you.
Ishara: Mike and Vanessa, in the presence of these witnesses, I ask you now to formally claim each other as husband and wife.
Vanessa: I call upon the people present here to witness that I, V.E.R, do take you, M.J.T., to be my lawful wedded husband.
Mike: I call upon the people present here to witness that I, M.J.T., do take you, V.E.R, to be my lawful wedded wife.
Exchange of Rings
Ishara: Do we have the rings?
Rings are brought forward by John
Vanessa: With this ring I offer myself into your loving care.
Mike: With the receiving of this ring I accept you as my wedded wife
Mike: With this ring I offer myself into your loving care.
Vanessa: With the receiving of this ring I accept you as my wedded husband
Signing the Certificates
Ishara (to the guests): The signing of the certificates is the next important part of today’s proceedings.
If I can please ask you all to remain in place patiently for a few minutes, we will play some music that Mike and Vanessa have selected while Mike and Vanessa and their two witnesses are signing the marriage certificates. Then we will rejoin you for a poem and a few words of blessing, before concluding the ceremony with the wedding toast.
Music plays whilst the celebrant, bride and groom, and two witnesses sign the certificates.
All you need is love, The Beatles
Ishara: Thank you very much for your attention and your patience.
Pronouncement (Kiss to seal the marriage)
(To the couple) Vanessa and Mike, as you have consented together in lawful marriage in the presence of these witnesses and by the giving and receiving of these rings, I now declare you to be husband and wife. On behalf of all present, may I wish you a long and contented life together, one which will be fruitful for both of you and bring many blessings to your circle of family and community.
You may now seal your marriage with a kiss.
Conclusion and Wedding toast
Ishara (to the guests): In
just a few more minutes you will have your opportunity to offer your personal
congratulations to the happy couple.
But first, John would like to propose a toast. Can you please ensure that everyone has a glass in their hands?
John proposes the toast
End of Ceremony.
"Signing the certificates" - A simple solemnisation of Marriage, Osborne Park, June 2009
Sometimes a couple will contact me to see if I can help them make it legal with as little fuss as possible in their own home - just themselves and their two witnesses...
In this particular case, the couple were both practising Hindus who planned to return to India for a big three day Hindu wedding celebration later on. The man had already migrated to Australia, and now he was organising for his beloved to join him on a permanent basis. They arranged for his brother and his wife to come across from Melbourne to be their official witnesses, and the marriage was solemnised in the living room of their Osborne Park flat with the legal minimum of ceremony.
That said, all four of them had dressed themselves up very formally, Indian style, with the women in gorgeous saris. Before we began, the bride and groom ducked around the corner into their little kitchen to say a prayer in front of their house altar. And to my delight, once the required words were spoken and the certificates were duly signed, I unexpectedly found myself a participant in what appeared to be a traditional ritual: first the bride and groom fed each other large slices of black forest cake, and then their two witnesses took turns at putting cake in the mouths of the bride and groom and were fed in return. The sister in law seemed to take great delight in helping the groom to get cake and cream all over his face in the process. I too was fed a bite of cake, although with a little more restraint and decorum!
Sadly I don't have any photos of the occasion, although the memory will surely stay with me.
Remarrying - Each other! Wedding ceremony April 2009, South Fremantle, Western Australia
Mary and Charlie were getting married again, to each other, after a divorce and 20 years of living independantly on either side of the globe.
Charlie had stayed on in Western Australia to follow his career as an archaeologist, while Mary had gone back to her native England to live and work as a freelance editor.
With children and then grandchildren connecting them, Mary and Charlie had maintained a friendship across the years, and were ready to try living together again...
Mary's comments:-
We found Ishara sensitive to our attitude to the wedding ceremony but prepared to bring up new ideas that we hadn't thought of ourselves. We were very glad to find the ceremony so meaningful even though informal. We were impressed with the amount of research Ishara did to provide suitable readings.
I would certainly recommend Ishara as a celebrant as she is sympathetic, tactful, and adaptable, and in our experience can make what was expected to be a fairly straightforward ceremony into a momentous and touching occasion.
Union ceremony for Michelle and Brandon 7th March 2009
"We liked that Ishara had such a calm presence, weddings are such stressful events so to have some with a professional and peaceful presence was a bonus!! Guests were delightfuly suprised by the meaningfulness of ceremony especially in light of our choice to not be 'legally married'. The handfasting part of the ceremony was an especially lovely touch. Ishara put together a ceremony that we felt represented us and the overall experience was very special."
View more photos of the Ceremony
Last minute rescue (Ishara's story)
On the 3rd of March I received a phonecall wondering if I might be available at the last minute to officiate at a handfasting ceremony for these two lovely people. I was, and we met that afternoon to talk about their plans.
Posted by: ishara on the 06/05/2009 12:10
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